


Long Road to Wisdom

by Aivix



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Character in Stasis, Episode Related, Episode: s04e02 Lifeline, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-28
Packaged: 2018-05-27 00:02:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,782
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6261154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aivix/pseuds/Aivix
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John couldn't and wouldn't leave her behind.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Ophelia (Heaven Help)

_"If you don't leave right now, none of us will get out of here, so go. That's an order!"_

_"Elizabeth!"_

_"Go!"_

_"No, not without you!"_

They'd brought the ARGs for the infiltration (the heist, Rodney's voice in his head told him). John hadn't thought twice about using his, even as Ronon tried to pull him away; three well-placed shots and the Replicators surrounding her had gone, Oberoth a pile of metal bits at her feet.

He had not, however, thought about the nanites within Elizabeth: as long as John lived, he would never forget the sickening sway she'd lurched into, the instantaneous paling of her skin, the way her eyes rolled back into her head and her clammy head settled into his neck when he caught her. She was not dead though, not then and still not, now.

Infinite strength, their Elizabeth had.

 _Your Elizabeth_.

He swallowed and bit down on his lip—there wasn't time for sentimentality—and forced himself to keep walking, keep hold on the woman he carried from infirmary to stasis chamber.

"John," she gasped into his throat.

"Shh, don't... don't talk. Save your energy."

The curve of her lips on his skin sent a clear message: soon she'd be in the chamber, sleeping (or something close to) for however long it would take Jennifer Keller to come up with a treatment. It could be days or months or decades... or never.

Jesus.

No.

No, he couldn't let that thought take hold. Carson had handpicked Jennifer from a pool of dozens, the best and the brightest and he'd sung her praises. She'd figure it out, John would put his faith in that, and they'd get Elizabeth back.

Rodney's eyes, soft and sad, caught his as John crossed into the stasis room, the chamber empty, prepped. Waiting.

He stopped in front of it, blinking at the tiny little space. So cramped for a woman who spent her time on the balconies with her face turned into the breeze, who took trips to the mainland whenever she could get a break, who sprawled in bed to the point John had nearly bribed the Quartermaster at the SGC to ship them a king mattress.

"John?"

Rodney's call turned his attention from the chamber to his friend; neither said anything, nor did any of the others present. Too gripped in the bittersweet feel of the moment, maybe, or just too traumatized to speak, and they watched, instead, as Rodney and John looked at each other, then down at Elizabeth. Then, with slow movements, steadied Elizabeth onto her feet.

She was weak. Only John's arms around her, Rodney's hand on her back, kept her upright. "John."

"It's going to be okay," he told her, sounding more than a little broken, "I'll see you soon."

"Right." She gave him a brittle smile. "A kiss before I sleep?"

It wasn't passionate, it wasn't lingering, but a dozen sets of eyes watched as John whispered, "I'll be right here when you wake up," and kissed her gently, warmly, lovingly.

They parted slowly, John easing her backward until she was within the chamber. He turned his head to nod at Rodney to start up the stasis process, and her lips grazed his ear, murmuring, "Don't wait forever," as the field began to leech forward and he slipped back.

 _Don't wait forever_.


	2. Scotland (Needed the Company)

Elizabeth, the other one, had said that stasis was like a deep, dreamless sleep. No feeling for the passage of time, no sense of aging or illness or pain; there were no images or sounds, and there was nothing the mind would hold onto as a memory.

Thank God.

_“John, things back home, with the IOA, aren't good.”_

_“Meaning?”_

_“They want to militarize Atlantis. They want to bring her back to Earth. They haven't brought it up before because...”_

_“Because Elizabeth would have fought them tooth and nail.”_

_“They would never have gone up against her, but she's not in command now and to be honest, they have no intention of re-installing her as the head of the expedition if... when she's well again.”_

_“Fuck.”_

He scrubbed his face with one hand, pressed that hand against the surface of the chamber once he was sure he wouldn't start screaming or crying or both. “Christ, it's bad, Liz,” he murmured, fingers curling against the glassy force field, “It's every worst case scenario we ever talked about with a shit-ton bureaucracy thrown on top.”

Of course, there was no reply from her, John wasn't expecting one.

“Carter and Rodney went off after she told us the news. They have a few ideas, but you know Rodney—he'd be about as helpful in bureaucratic discussions as TNT at a turkey shoot. Hell, maybe that wouldn't be a bad idea...”

John sighed. What he wouldn't give to get a flash of Elizabeth's eyes right now, some spark of the life he knew was in her, the spitfire and the passion: she'd been at the heart of Atlantis, maybe her actual heart, and they'd all felt a little lost without her at the helm. Carter was doing her best, but she was from Earth and it showed in ever interaction.

When had he started thinking of people as either from Atlantis or Earth?

Years ago, maybe. After the siege, definitely.

“You'd know what to do, wouldn't you? Just the right words to say...” he huffed a short, broken laugh. “Not like it would've been needed. Carter said it, that the IOA wouldn't have started with it if you weren't in stasis, and that they're not planning to put you back as commander once you're out.”

He settled down the floor after a few minutes of silence, basking in the blue glow of the chamber. He should really be heading to bed; a little bit longer and John would head back to his quarters where a six pack and the oblivion of sleep were waiting for him.

“I do have an idea, but I don't know if you'd like it. It's risky and it'll be hell on everyone.” He reached forward, fingertips crazing the chamber front once again.

It was as if someone had tightened a collar around his throat, his voice tight as he added, “If it comes to pass, God, I hope you'll forgive me, Lizzy.

“I hope like hell you'll forgive me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/698276.html?thread=92075172#t92075172) on LJ's comment_fic.


	3. Stubborn Love (I can't be told, it can't be done)

Years passed while Elizabeth slept.

John wondered what she'd think of him now: older, grayer, thinner, out of his uniform more than he was in it now that Evan held the coveted position as head of Atlantis' military division. He spent so much of his time doing paperwork—digital though it was—that he could almost picture her laughing at his sorry ass after all the time they'd argued over his reports.

He still visited her everyday, more often than once if he could get away with it, and he knew others did as well. Carson and Jennifer for obvious reasons, and Rodney, Ronon, and Teyla for no less obvious though different ones, but sometimes John would pull up the LSD in Eliza... his office to find Lorne or Marie or Kanaan or Jeannie's ID reading in the stasis room.

They all kept hoping for the miracle that always seemed just one step a head of them. Many even continued to talk about what they'd tell her when she woke, what little kitschy things they had squirreled away as gifts for her; some called John the Interim Leader of Atlantis rather than his official title or what everyone else in the galaxy was calling him (Ruler, Chosen, King).

He, though, was starting to feel the pull of nine years on his spirits: they'd been in Pegasus for thirteen years total now and the city was vibrant with life. Jennifer and Ronon had settled down, so had Carson and Rodney, and Teyla with Kanaan—basically any of those who'd stayed after the Schism had paired off and started producing children.

Except John.

Who felt vaguely bitter that he was still grieving for someone who wasn't dead while everyone else was living their lives.

_Don't wait forever._

“John?”

He flicked his head back to find that his hiding place had been invaded by Carson, poor hiding place it was. Hell, virtually everyone in the city knew that if John Sheppard wasn't in his office, he was probably in the stasis room.

“Hey, Carson.”

“I thought we talked about you sleeping in your bed at night.”

His best Scolded Little Boy look did nothing to ease Carson's bemused eyebrows. John was still sure those things were sentient, the way they seemed to speak without words. He sighed after a second and said, “Came by to tell her about the day, say goodnight, the usual stuff.”

“Ah,” Carson nodded in understanding, “Pillow talk.”

“Yeah. You need me for something?”

There was a shuffle, Carson moving until he could settle down beside John. He leaned forward, hands on his crossed knees, and he gazed up at Elizabeth. “You know, it's been almost a decade.”

As if John could've forgotten; he waited for Carson to go on, knowing that this conversation was likely yet another iteration of the “let her go” talk they'd been having periodically ever since Elizabeth had gone into the chamber.

Seriously, he was prepared for that conversation. It'd been nine months since the last one, they were due to have it again.

However, that was not what Carson had to say.

“Jennifer and I agree it probably would have taken less time to find a cure if we hadn't cut ties with Earth when we did, but I suppose it's a bit poetic, isn't it? Losing Earth means that Elizabeth will be the first person in 10,000 years that will be healed through Atlantean means.”

He was frozen, his entire body taut and almost shivering, and John struggled to ask, “Are you saying what I think you're saying?”

Carson brought a hand up to John's shoulder, his voice thickening with emotion and his eyes wet. “I cannot guarantee that it will work—we've no live model, just simulations—but we have it.”

“I... Carson...”

“It's not a one step cure, John, so she'll be in the infirmary for some time once we get started,” he went on, “and there's always the chance we could lose her somewhere along the way.”

“But this is her chance?”

“This is her chance,” he confirmed.

A tear threatened to escape, John's careful control lurching away as emotions overwhelmed him. “When?”

“Tomorrow. Let's all of us get a good night's sleep and then tomorrow,” he told John, “we'll see to Elizabeth.”


	4. Angela (Home at Last)

The day Carson released her from the Infirmary, Elizabeth had looked to John and asked, “Will you take me home?”

She'd been so looking forward to the privacy of their quarters, to having the chance to talk to him—really talk, not the idle chat people in a public space like the Infirmary had—that when he took her to their quarters, settled her in, and kissed her forehead before ducking out, she was surprised.

Everyone else had told her of the intervening years: the betrayal, the Schism, Atlantis' fight to survive after. How John had struggled and fought for their city when Earth rejected the Declaration, forging allies with Wraith and Genii, and then struggled and fought when they were alone, trying to find their way in Pegasus without the safety net of Milky Way for strategic retreat.

How he'd struggled with her loss.

But after taking her home and depositing her in their bed, it would be a while before she saw him again: he didn't come home after dark, was perpetually having left a room two seconds before she entered it. Where and when he ate was a guess since he never seemed to step foot in the dining hall.

She did her best to ignore the feeling of sudden rejection—she knew John loved her, even if he was hiding for the moment—and delved into learning or re-learning her city. She made time to meet the new people, meet the children, and did as much walking about as Carson would allow. She made appointments with Kate as both therapist and friend.

Then, on a Saturday morning, Rodney arrived, dragging John behind him via one hand clamped tightly around John's bicep. He flung John into the living space, watching him trip before settling onto the couch, and looked to her, pajama-clad and abed; a nearly empty cup of Athosian tea, a crumb-laden plate, and a tablet loaded with a decade's worth of reports sat on the nightstand, and she lifted an eyebrow at her oldest friend as she sat up fully.

He nodded in greeting, and explained, “Hello, Elizabeth. I brought your husband home because he's sleeping on my couch and Carson is starting to make the concerned face that'll somehow wind up with me being forced to do the Good Friend thing. Unfortunately, I do not have the time to get him drunk for an awkward heart to heart. So here, husband. Call me if you need help hiding the body.”

Spinning on his heel, Rodney departed before John could get a word out and the lock sounded as the door closed behind him.

Elizabeth sighed and stood, gathering the remnants of her breakfast to deposit in the kitchenette sink. She told him, “You don't have to stay,” as she moved toward the couch.

“No... I, um, I want to talk to you.” He swallowed and rubbed the back of his neck, the unease clear. He was silent for several minutes, then, palms tight against his thighs, he let out a bark of a laugh, and told her, “I spent so much time waiting for you to wake up, I never thought about what I'd say when you did.” He turned to her, his body tightening up as she sat down on the couch.

He scratched at one knee; Elizabeth took the chance to reach out, fingers slowly, gently sliding over his. He didn't recoil, something Elizabeth felt pitifully grateful for, and she twined their fingers together, holding his hand for the first time in so long.

“John, you saved my life.”

“Carson said if we had waited a little longer to cut ties...”

“...they might have come up with a treatment sooner, I know,” she inched closer, “You made the right call.”

She wasn't talking about the Schism.

“I shouldn't have used the ARG on you.”

“I was in a crowd of Replicators who would not have hesitated to kill you or Ronon. It was the right call to use it.”

“Elizabeth...”

She closed the gap between them, pressing her side to his and her forehead to his shoulder. It felt good to be right here with him, the scent of him in her nose, and she hoped he wouldn't run from her again. She kissed his cheek and murmured, “You did everything right, John. Everything. The ARG, the stasis,” she paused, “They wanted to militarize Atlantis and take her from Pegasus. If you'd waited, they might have succeeded.”

“I could have done it another way.”

“Maybe, but it's done. All of it is done, so please, stop holding onto the guilt.” She cupped his cheek in her free hand and turned his head, eyes locked on one another. “I haven't seen my husband in ten years, I don't want to waste anymore time because of the past.”

The sad look on his face broke, his eyes closing in amusement; he kissed her palm and said, “I was wondering when you'd mention that.”

She smiled at him. “So, tell me about this wedding I was a bride at.”

“Can I just blame it all on Madison and not explain the humiliation?”

“Mmmmm, no. Story now and then I want to see the pictures.”

(When they crawled into bed that night, the first time in so long that they were able to, Elizabeth curled into his arms, John on his back so she could put her ear over his heart and listen to the steady thump of it. It was the perfect thing to lull her toward sleep and she was nearly there when she heard it, the low rumble of his voice.

“I missed you so much,” he whispered.

She felt him suck in a breath, felt the way he twitched her and there, and she shifted until she could pull him against her. His face pressed into his throat and his arms slid around her, drawing her close as he gave in and, at last, the tears fell.

“You saved me. I'm home,” she whispered to him through it all, "I love you. Thank you." )

**Author's Note:**

> Written for [this prompt](http://comment-fic.livejournal.com/702567.html?thread=92751975#t92751975) on LJ's comment_fic: _Stargate Atlantis, John Sheppard/Elizabeth Weir, He disobeyed her order and ran back to get Elizabeth in Lifeline._


End file.
